I Call That The Turkey Hole

In which Jon Gruden speaks at length about turkey holes:
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Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Buffalo Bills

Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Buffalo Bills Your 2017 record: 9-7. Aw hell, roll the tape. You guys earned it… I am deeply cynical, awful man, but even I got emotional watching this franchise—this horrible, miserable, impossibly woebegone franchise—secure their first playoff berth in the 21st century. It was one of those pure, wonderful moments that the NFL seems determined to purge for the sport entirely, and I’m glad (surprised!) to have witnessed it. Of course, you guys wouldn’t have needed the Bengals (!!!!) to help backdoor you into the playoffs if your coach hadn’t made one of f…

The Best Things We Watched In 2015

Here, now, are our favorite films, TV shows, and pieces of internet ephemera of the year. Thank you for your time. Sicario Logistics aside, Emily Blunt should be in every action movie. This is not a big movie—in fact, it’s one of the most tightly wound things I’ve seen in years—but it makes up for its modest size with sheer heft. Watching Sicario is a pulverizing experience: The soundtrack rattles and thumps you along as what you thought was a Drug War action flick turns into a literal descent into hell. And Blunt guides you through the soul-warping nausea as a bystander, as a protagonist, and, ultimately, as a pawn. She’s like a superhuman stand-in for the viewer, and she walks the line between disgust and determination better than most anyone could. -Patrick Redford Mad Max: …

Deadspin Hall Of Fame 2011: It's Time To Nominate The Worthiest

Greetings, sub-humans. It's that time of the year again, when some of the readership would like to recognize those sporty individuals in our small universe of the internet for their accomplishments off the field . Even though the winners will be announced during the SHOTY competition closer to the end of the year, we'd like to hear your suggestions now. In the comments, of course. Please give us three nominees. Deadspin's crack Hall of Fame Committee will sift through your suggestions and determine which ones will be put up to a proper vote during SHOTY week. For reference, here are winners from previous years: 2006
• Carl Monday
• Kyle Orton
• Clinton Portis
• Run You Stupid Fucking Dinosaur, Run
• Renee Thomas And Angela Keathley
• Viking Sex Boat
• You&#…

NFL Week 5 FOX Schedule and Announcers

data-mm-id=”_6okfkqev2″>Week 5 of the NFL season kicks off tonight on FOX and the NFL Network when the Los Angeles Rams travel to Seattle to take on the Seahawks. Here is FOX's full NFL broadcasting schedule for the week.Thursday Night Football – 8:20 PM:Rams @ Seahawks: Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, Erin Andrews, and Kristina Pink.1 pm ETBuccaneers @ Saints: Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston, and Laura Okmin.Bears and Raiders from London: Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth, Jennifer Hale.Vikings @ Giants: Sam Rosen, Charles Davis, and Pam Oliver.Falcons @ Texans: Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber, and Sara Walsh.Cardinals @ Bengals: Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman, and Shannon Spake.4:25 pm ETPackers @ Cowboys: Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, and Erin Andrews.*Here is CBS's Week 5 schedule.…

Nebraska Gave Scott Frost a Contract Extension He Clearly Hasn't Earned

data-mm-id=”_m30327pwu”>Scott Frost just can't seem to break through at Nebraska. On Saturday, the 44-year-old head coach helped engineer a 14-point comeback against Iowa that ultimately fell short in the waning seconds. As the Hawkeyes kicker Keith Duncan nailed a 49-yard field goal to secure a 27-24 road win, you could almost hear the air going out of the balloons in Lincoln. It was the latest sign that the Cornhuskers haven't taken a step forward in two seasons under their young head coach, and that maybe the school shouldn't have shoveled more money into his pocket a few weeks ago.Despite starting the 2019 season in the top 25, Nebraska won't be going to a bowl game.Frost hasn't done much since taking over as the head football coach at Nebraska. The program…

Bruce Arians' Anti-Analytics Rant Makes Football Sound Pretty Simple

data-mm-id=”_pkxb5v8nd”>Bruce Arians is an old-fashioned football guy. The 67-year-old Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach with a 56-39-1 record has no time for your fancy nerd numbers. Here's Arians going rogue on analytics on a recent Sirius XM NFL Radio appearance, as transcribed by Joe Bucs Fan:”“I’ve actually heard of guys calling plays [using analytics] and I don’t know how that works,” Arians said. “I mean, run to the right, run a sweep, throw the ball. What the hell? I don’t need a computer tell me that. If you do, you’re not a coach.
“Football, which was presumably quite complicated, is actually quite easy when distilled down to run or throw. Imagine what kind of feel for the game you must have to not need to use any existing information to inform any decisions durin…

Titans Will Be Scapegoats, But NFL's COVID Problems Run Far Deeper

data-mm-id=”_oexvcve9l”>The Tennessee Titans will forever be known as the first NFL team to suffer a COVID-19 outbreak during the 2020 season. Several players and staff members tested positive following their Week 3 matchup against the Minnesota Vikings. The case numbers snowballed, and after two more positive tests today, 20 people within the organization have tested positive. Tennessee's Week 4 game with the Pittsburgh Steelers was postponed and both teams were given a bye. The Titans' Week 5 game against the Buffalo Bills is now very much up in the air. On Wednesday, reports hit the wire that the Titans players had hosted an unauthorized practice last week after they were specifically told not to gather in large groups following the initial positive test. Per Titans report…

Everything Would Have to Go Right For the Patriots to Be Better Offensively Without Tom Brady

data-mm-id=”_guagbtfn1″>On Wednesday morning, the Get Up crew kicked off ESPN programming by discussing whether the New England Patriots could actually be better offensively without Tom Brady under center. Patriots reporter Mike Reiss made an appearance and said some around the organization believe the offense could be more efficient if they get solid quarterback play and improve in several other areas. Video: Joining @GetUpESPN and @Espngreeny for a discussion on the Patriots' offense — could this unit possibly be better without Tom Brady? pic.twitter.com/EC8aOVwWYl— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) June 10, 2020At first glance, this seems preposterous. Going from Brady to Jarrett Stidham is a downgrade in every way imaginable other than the cap situation, and New England made precisel…

Where Will Adrian Peterson End Up?

data-mm-id=”_6jl3bu7j7″>Adrian Peterson has been released by the Washington Football Team. Under normal circumstances, this would be the end of the road for a 35-year-old running back, but with 43-year-old Tom Brady under center in Tampa Bay and 37-year-old Frank Gore competing for carries in the New York Jets backfield while his son plays college football, age means nothing anymore.Some thought Peterson's career was over when he was suspended for the final 15 games of the 2014 NFL season, but he returned in 2015 to lead the league in rushing at 30-years-old. Then it looked like he might be done after suffering a knee injury that ended his 2016 season, but he signed with the New Orleans the next season. When Sean Payton didn't use him to the point where he was traded, it agai…